oh hey great

Here’s the thing.

So, about seven or eight months ago, my pal Stephen Falk asked me to tell a story at a show he and the lovely Natasha Vargas-Cooper produce. I agreed to do it immediately because when cool, talented people ask you to do something, you should do it. Even if that something is one of your biggest fears. And public speaking is absolutely my biggest fear. I can count the times I’ve had to speak in front of an audience on one hand: all of them mandatory and grade-based, all of them sweaty, nervous disasters.

I think I had about six weeks to prepare for it. Which translates to me spending six weeks pretending that time had stopped moving forward. This is my usual technique for dealing with stressful or scary situations: just pretend they’re not going to happen. So far, it has a 0% success rate, but hey, I’m only 25.

A few days before the show, I came to terms with the fact that the world was going to continue to accelerate on its gravitational pull, no matter how nicely I asked it not to. I sat down and wrote out the story I wanted to tell, recorded it, and even listened to it a couple of times.

“That’s probably fine,” I told myself, still not quite ready to acknowledge the growing anxiety ball in the pit of my stomach.

I’m going to pause the story right here to say, yes. We all have fears. And yes, public speaking is ranked higher than death or disease. I never said I was original, but I will happily concede to being a pussy. A big, giant, crybaby coward pussy. I’m also twitchy and nervous. One look at my gnarled, tattered fingernails will tell you that. And you know, after high school, public speaking is something that is damn-near completely avoidable. I am nothing if not an avoider. It’s funny, the older you get, the more responsibility is supposed to be heaped on you. But, I’ve learned, it’s pretty easy to avoid things you don’t want to do. Simply run away from them. So, I’ve never really had to get over the intense panic, or hot sweats (that might just be genetic), or the feeling that every pair of eyes in the audience is shooting hot, white judgment lasers at my person. It also gets me out of a lot of boring family obligations and dinners with old friends.

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This is my friend Alison and she is great. Like, one of the best.

Source: alisonagosti